Room 238, Thursday before classes

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Aeryn's not dealing with some things right now. Instead she's knocking on the door to 238 early. And she may be pushing down enough emo-turned-irritation that she's pointedly not using the key. But she's not dealing with the emo-turned-irritation at the moment.

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[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John's not even awake yet when the knock comes. He rolls out of bed, shakes of the 'good morning's' from Umberto and stumbles to the door, pulling it open.

"Wha?"

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"Talked to Cameron lately?" she asks. Straight to the point.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Hi. It's nice to see you too. Glad you could stop by," John says, opening the door further and going back into his room.

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Aeryn sighs. "I can leave," she offers.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

He's crawled back into his bed but he's awake and watching her.

"Why?"

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"Because it's too early to deal with sarcasm," she tells him, still at the open door and not budging from it.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"What's the matter?" he asks.

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"And that went so well when I told you yesterday," she says, and now she's closing the door behind her because she doesn't want to attract attention from anyone passing by.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Aeryn, you think you should be dead," he says, point blank. "You've been back a few months now, I've been trying to help you deal with everything, you helped me through something extremely difficult and you still think you should be dead."

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"I'm sorry that my issues don't coincide with your timetable," she says quietly, and she really does not want to be discussing this again.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"No," he says, sitting up. "No, that's not it. Hearing you think you should be dead and seeing what I do when I sleep, it's too real, Aeryn. You're not supposed to be dead."

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"We just won't talk about it, then," she says quickly, and tries really hard to change the subject. "So. Cameron."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"No." He shakes his head again. "No, I don't want things to be strained again between us. I'm not keeping things from you anymore so I had to tell you that."

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"And I told you something honestly and you replied by telling me my thinking is wrong. I'll just avoid that, if you don't mind."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"To me, I don't believe you should be dead," he says. "Things have happened since then that wouldn't have been possible without you. I don't want you to be dead. I don't even like thinking about it because I see it enough in my mind."

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"I don't want to be dead, either. If I did, I wouldn't have ever come back here. That doesn't change anything," she says.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Aeryn." He stands now, stepping in front of her. "I love you. How many times did I tell you that over the past few days?"

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"Countless," she admits.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Nothing changes how I feel about you. Nothing," he says firmly. "And I'm trying not to keep anything from you. I don't want to do that anymore. My feelings on the 'supposed to be dead' thing? Not saying you're thinking's wrong, just saying what I feel. That's all. I don't want us to revert back to that weird state before I got weird. I want to sleep with you and wake up with you. Everything is better for me that way."

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"Okay," she says. "Fine. Then in one reality I died and they brought me back. In this one the only reason I'm around is because someone interfered. There seems to be a theme. And I'm going to remember that in cases like when Peacekeepers question me about things I did wrong here and I don't have a weapon to shoot my way out of the room if I have to. That's what I feel."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

He nods slowly. "You don't think you were worth bringing back?"

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She shrugs, and doesn't answer. And tries again. "So. Cameron."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Not yet," he says, stepping closer to her. "Do you think you were worth bringing back?"

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"What do you want me to say?" she asks.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Tell me the truth," he says quietly.