Outside the cabins, Sunday morning

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Aeryn was up early, quietly packing what little she brought to the cabins into her bag. It doesn't take long, so she goes back outside, sitting on the front step of the cabin to watch for Cameron.


[For cameronmitchell.]

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[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

She doesn't have to wait long as Cameron heads out of the Stickbug cabin and makes his way to where Aeryn is sitting.

"Morning," he greets.

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"Hi," she says, standing. "You ready?"

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

He's not sure if he is, but nods anyway.

"Yep," he says as he heads towards the trees. And because he doesn't want things to go silent, "How's it going?"

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"It's going," she shrugs, and it's not that she's being avoidant, it's just that she doesn't know what to say. "You?"

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"Not so good," he says with a sideway glance. "It's been pointed out that I'm making a mess of things;"

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"That happens when you ignore things," she replies.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he agrees and bites his lip. "I've let things slip."

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"Good of you to notice," she says. "Again. Considering what, two weeks ago you were saying the same thing?"

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry," he says uncomfortable. "I'm not going to make any excuses, because there aren't any really."

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"I don't need you around all the time," she says. "Frell, I don't need John around all the time. But this has been going on since I got back. I'm just noticing it now."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Cameron frowns as he tries to trace it back in his mind. "I guess. Not entirely. I think it wasn't as easy to talk after you came back. I tried, but it felt like I kept just doing the wrong things or was trying too hard..." He pauses as he realises that it does come back to the prior as well.

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She considers this, and there's really no concise answer she can give to that. "I'm not the same as I was when I left. I still told you everything that happened to me. Difficult as it was, I put myself out there," she says. "People change, relationships change, fine. That's what happened here and I'll deal with it. But don't call me your best friend and make a point of saying how you'll be there and not follow through."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

That stings, but he can't blame her. "I'm sorry. I screwed up these last few weeks and I'd like to fix it if you let me. Too much has happened, I'd hate to just lose this," he takes a deep breath before continuing. "But you have to know that even if I don't run into you, that doesn't mean that I'm not there to listen. I can change it and run into you more, but there's nothing stopping you from coming over to talk to me when you need. If you want to, that is. I'll have to work on that part."

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"It's longer than a few weeks, Cameron. You've missed a lot," she says. She holds up her left hand, showing him the ring there. "How long have I been wearing this?"

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"Over a month," he sighs. "Point taken."

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"Don't tell me you're going to change something. Actually do it."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

He nods because he figures that just saying at this point is useless and he'll have to show her. "Is this part of why you don't the idea of anything happening with Molly?"

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"A very large part of it, yes," she says. "Let's see, you first told me about this... at least a month ago, after six months of acting like her frelling brother, she's going on dates with someone else and I'm still hearing about it. If you're stringing her along like you have been me, I will hurt you. Badly."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Cameron grits his teeth. "What's the other part?"

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Shrugging, Aeryn says, "You went from Beka straight to Vala straight to Jaye straight to Molly. Mostly intense relationships that once it's over, you never speak of again, simply move on to the next girl and bring all of those issues with you and probably onto her," she says. "I suspect you just can't be single. There's more, too."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"Don't let me stop you," he says because while some of this bothers him at least he knows things are a lot more complicated than that.

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"Wouldn't have let you. Then there's the fact that she is a fifteen-year-old girl who is very new to relationships and who's had a lot of trauma and loss already in her life. It's her decision, I won't attempt to stop anything that happens, but based on everything I've said today, I don't trust you with her."

She stops walking.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

Cameron stops and turns to face her. "I brought most of this up with her, but she seems to think it'd be worth it. Is there anything else or can I explain now?"

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She doesn't say anything.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"Alright," he decides to start where Aeryn started off. "I haven't been stringing her along. I've told her more than once that I'm not ready for this and I've tried to step back to let her see other people. She doesn't want to and I'm not going to force her if it makes her unhappy." He waits to see if Aeryn has anythign to bring before he continues.

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She's still not saying anything, though the phrasing of that last part gets an eyebrow raise.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"Secondly? You hardly talked to me when things with Beka happened. I saw her for one frakking week and I ended up mindwhammied at the end of it. I don't think one kiss constitutes as a serious relationship. Vala and Jaye? You don't know half about what was going on," he closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head. "But yeah, I'm worried too because I don't want Molly to have to deal with any of this. I don't want to hurt her or screw things up because she's too important to me."

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"You didn't tell me what was going on. What I know is what I saw from where I was standing," she counters, and the tone of her voice has hardened quite a bit. "Consider that another point. If it's something you're that concerned about, if you don't want her to have to deal with it, then don't let her deal with it. It takes two people to be in a relationship. Do not make this out to be 'Molly wants it, so I'll go along with it,' because you should know better. You need to figure out what the frell you're doing, that's the simple fact of it. Do so."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"Getting over Vala is one of the hardest things I've had to do this year," Cameron told her softly. "Jaye wasn't serious at first. It was a fling which we tried to turn into more but failed at."

He sighed. "I asked her to just stay friends, but that doesn't seem to be working. She seems to have made up her mind already and that's exactly what I'm trying to do now."

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"Well, you're so good at shutting people out, I'm surprised it's a problem."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

He takes a deep breath but it doesn't seem to help to calm him down. "I know I'm not easy to talk to sometimes, but I have never not answered your questions and I never lied to you. After the prior got out? There were exactly two people who checked up on me. Don't pin this all on me."

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"Since when have I ever checked up on anyone?" she wonders, trying and failing to come up with a time that she did. "I don't push. But I was around. I was available to talk. It took you I think at least a week before you decided to even say anything. You avoided the subject as long as you could, like you do with apparently everything. And what part of 'I'll do better' wasn't a lie?"

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"I was around too," Cameron points out. "But apparently that only works in one direction. But you've got me, I'm a liar."

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"Don't frelling play martyr with me," Aeryn snaps. "It doesn't work, at least not outside of your own mind. Take responsibility for how your own relationships go. 'You weren't easy to talk to when you got back,' like it's my fault when you were the one who didn't say anything about anything you were going through. Rory and Isabel and Anakin never seemed to have a problem with that. 'I don't want to hurt Molly, but let me put this all on her,' like you don't know that's stupid. And by the way, that reasoning does not inspire any confidence in you. Also, I never saw you. I never made promises about doing better."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"I apologised, I admitted that I screwed up, didn't I? I am sorry. I am taking responsibility and I will try to make up for it. All I'm saying is that I didn't hide and run the other direction. If you wanted to find me? You could have. That's the part of the whole 'two in a relationship' thing," he takes a breath before going on. "I'm not putting this all on Molly. I'm the one with issues there and I'm the one who's been dragging his feet while Molly's made up her mind. I know I have issues that I need to work on first, but that doesn't mean that I'm stringing her along."

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"I never had to go find you before. And as for Molly, realize what it looks like from here, because that is what it looks like," she says.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry that we haven't been running into each other as much," he says with a sigh. "You didn't seem eager to listen to me the first time I brought Molly up. I've talked to her, Aeryn. She knows exactly what's going on. You're not the first one to decide to judge this from afar."

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That last sentence was the wrong thing to say to her, all things considering. "Do what you want, since I'm only judging," she says, very very calmly. "We obviously haven't known each other for a very long time or you wouldn't have said what you just did. Frell you."

She starts walking back without any other goodbye.

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

And he's really got no reply to that but to kick out at the root of a tree. Shaking his head, he goes the other way.