Room 238, Monday evening

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Aeryn comes back from the Perk with two cups in her hand, a smaller bag of some sort of baked good or another (one day she'll learn to order another way besides pointing at something randomly) held onto by two fingers on one hand. And because she's not going to put any of this down, she kicks at the door for John to let her in.

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[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

In the past, he would've just said to 'come in.' But that was before everything and he's a little more cautious now.

"Who is it?"

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"The frelling cups are hot!" she calls through the door, kicking it again. And if that doesn't tell him who it is...

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"Okay okay," he says and hurries over to open the door and take the cups from her.

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"Thank you," she says, kicking the door shut behind her. "I have no idea what I brought us," she announces.

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"You didn't have to bring anything," he says, setting the cups on the table.

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"I did anyway," she says simply.

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"Thanks," he says, smiling.

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"Make sure I didn't get anything too horrible," she orders, picking up her small black coffee to sip from it. It's always easy to tell which one is Aeryn's.

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He sifts through the bags, nodding and plucking a bagel from one but not eating it. "It all looks good."

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"Good," she says, a little relieved at that. "How are you?" It's not meant to be checking up on him, but it might be. A little.

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"Good," he says, shrugging a shoulder. "No different, really."

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She'd hoped for 'better'. "And no glaring in class?"

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"Nah," he said. "Touchy subject today though."

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She tries remembering what came next on the syllabus. "What was it?"

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"Ethics in relationships," he tells.

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"That's a problem?" she asks, frowning a little.

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"Not for me," he says. "But for Anakin, it is."

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"Ah," she says, wincing. "Well, I just saw him and he wasn't threatening to jump off any ledges, at least..."

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"I know," he says. "He told me I was on firmer ground than him or something."

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"To be honest, I don't think that would be too difficult," Aeryn says.

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He still hasn't eaten the bagel. "Do you trust me?"

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She's a little startled by that, actually. A second later she thinks she should have expected the question. "What?"

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"We talked about that today," he says, "and I want to know."

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The easy answer would be yes, because she does. The chip's gone, she doesn't expect a relapse, and anything was done wasn't his fault. But she can't give a straight answer. "That depends," she says slowly.

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He doesn't like the hesitation at all. "What does that mean?"

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She doesn't want to have this conversation, but knows they probably should. "It means that it depends on what I'm trusting you with."

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"What?"

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"I worry about you." There, she said it.

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"I know," he says slowly. "You don't trust me with me?"

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She shrugs a little, not actually wanting to say that.

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"Is that what it is?" he asks. "Aeryn, I need you to tell me."

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She's quiet for a moment, and says honestly, "I thought for well over a week that you were capable of trying to kill yourself."

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"I was," he says honestly. "I still am. Doesn't mean I want to though."

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"And that doesn't mean I won't worry," she says.

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"I don't mind the worrying," he says. "I just need to know if you trust me."

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"The simple answer is yes. The complicated one is that that part is going to take some time," Aeryn says.

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He frowns and crosses his arms, hugging himself. "Okay."

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"Eat. Please," she says.

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"I'm not very hungry," he says, shrugging.

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She just nods and goes to the couch with her coffee.

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He kicks at the ground for a little while before taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

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And this suddenly feels like it did before, and this time she can't even fake a conversation topic.

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"I think I might go for a walk," he says quietly.

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She doesn't want him to, but also can't blame him. "Okay," she says quietly.

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He stands, still rubbing his arms a little. "Do you wanna come?"

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She looks up at him in surprise, not having expected that.

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"With me," he adds. "Wanna come with me?"

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Still no less surprised, but she nods slowly. "Sure," she says, getting up and putting her coffee down.

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John smiled and waited for her at the door. He opened it when she got close, followed her outside and closed the door behind them.