Room 238, Wednesday morning

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Aeryn actually had a good weekend. Prom had been good. Even being found by a son from another reality hadn't been so bad. Umberta could go, but she liked D'Argo. She liked having him in Revolutions and watching him know what to do in a Prowler and she'd had fun kind of showing him off to people. And knowing that she'd lucked out and/or raised her child right.

And then of course her birthday had kind of gone off course when they had to take him back to the vortex and watch him go. She misses that boy so much and she won't admit that it hurts, or how badly. She never really wanted children, and had convinced herself that she and John wouldn't be genetically compatible, being different species. Yeah, that's apparently wrong.

She shouldn't be this emo. Regardless, she's perfectly content to just not get out of bed for a while. Shut up.

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[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

John hadn't slept great so he's dozing lightly this morning, dreaming some, mostly not and hoping that maybe he'll sleep longer.

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Aeryn haasn't slept either, but doubts she will. She just stays silent, kind of distractedly half-watching him.

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"Aeryn?" He blinks open his eyes a little. "You okay?"

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"Fine," she says quietly, and mostly to the wall. "You?"

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"Tired," he says, looking up at her. "You're not all right, Aeryn."

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"I am," she insists. "Just tired.

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"Babe," he says softly, trying to tug her closer.

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She doesn't fight him on that, just hugs him a little tighter than she probbaly should.

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He presses his lips against her forehead and says, "He's okay. Probably snuggled in between his mom and dad right now."

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"I don't want to talk about it," she says, kind of hating his real parents.

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"Okay," he says, falling quiet and just stroking her back lightly with his fingers.

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For a while, Aeryn's just silent. "He'll be okay, won't he?" she asks finally.

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"He'll be fine," John says. "He'll have parents and friends who will make sure of that."

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She wants to say she shouldn't have let him go. The reason she doesn't is because she can't actually make herself say it or she'll lose it, at least to some degree.

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"Aeryn," John says, hugging her close. "We'll have one sometime in the future."

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"Don't want to talk about it," she says again. The possibility of that happening is still new, and she doesn't want to think of that as replacing a child she never even really had.

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He sighs and nods. "Okay, we won't talk about it."

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"Good," she murmurs, resting her forehead against his.

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He stays quiet, letting her take what she needed from him.

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She's also not clinging. She's not. Really.

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"It's okay," he says, rubbing her back and curling his other arm around her shoulders.

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"Do you have to be anywhere?" she asks after a moment.

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"No," he says.

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She nods, holding him tighter again in response.

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"Want me to stay here?" he asks though he pretty much knows the answer.

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She nods, adding a little "Mm hm," sound.

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"I won't go anywhere," he tells her.

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She doesn't say anything, just stays where she is, totally not clinging, and not sad. Really.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

And John clings to her, staying quiet and trying to comfort as best he knew how.