Room 238, very early Thursday morning
Feb. 16th, 2006 06:12 amAeryn hasn't really slept. She should, because she's exhausted, but she's afraid she might sleep through any alarm, and... sappy as it is, she wants as much time with John as possible, even if he's not conscious.
She keeps checking the time, and it's still dark when she finally disentangles herself from him and gets out of bed. She gets dressed and collects the last of her things, moving around the room as quietly as possible. It had been strange packing things up, and that was for reasons other than the constant but welcome interruptions that she hadn't expected; Cameron told her once that all of the stuff she had around her room was what made it hers. And now she has to leave most of it behind in a locker in John's room. That says a lot, really.
She checks one more time in case she's leaving behind anything she might need, then realizes that's pretty spoiled of her. She didn't have any of it when she first got here. She'll have to do without it. It probably only confirms how much she's changed since she got here, and how much changing back she has to do. Besides, she's only stalling.
Aeryn makes her way back to the bed, and all of a sudden it's hard to breathe. She thinks about waking him up like he asked, but if she does that she won't leave and she needs to leave. And she can't say goodbye. She can't. Swallowing, Aeryn leans over to kiss him lightly, and it strikes her that this is it. This is the last time she's ever going to kiss him. It's the last time she's ever even going to see him. In ten cycles she'll probably already be dead, and he'll probably be married to someone else, and that's just the way it has to be. This, despite everything, had to just be temporary.
Except it's not and she knows it.
She straightens, blinking hard. She backs away, grabs her bag and hefts it onto her shoulder, and heads towards the door. Belatedly, she thinks to find her key. The key itself she places on a table, but the keychain's hers.
Aeryn closes the door behind her again when she leaves.
She keeps checking the time, and it's still dark when she finally disentangles herself from him and gets out of bed. She gets dressed and collects the last of her things, moving around the room as quietly as possible. It had been strange packing things up, and that was for reasons other than the constant but welcome interruptions that she hadn't expected; Cameron told her once that all of the stuff she had around her room was what made it hers. And now she has to leave most of it behind in a locker in John's room. That says a lot, really.
She checks one more time in case she's leaving behind anything she might need, then realizes that's pretty spoiled of her. She didn't have any of it when she first got here. She'll have to do without it. It probably only confirms how much she's changed since she got here, and how much changing back she has to do. Besides, she's only stalling.
Aeryn makes her way back to the bed, and all of a sudden it's hard to breathe. She thinks about waking him up like he asked, but if she does that she won't leave and she needs to leave. And she can't say goodbye. She can't. Swallowing, Aeryn leans over to kiss him lightly, and it strikes her that this is it. This is the last time she's ever going to kiss him. It's the last time she's ever even going to see him. In ten cycles she'll probably already be dead, and he'll probably be married to someone else, and that's just the way it has to be. This, despite everything, had to just be temporary.
Except it's not and she knows it.
She straightens, blinking hard. She backs away, grabs her bag and hefts it onto her shoulder, and heads towards the door. Belatedly, she thinks to find her key. The key itself she places on a table, but the keychain's hers.
Aeryn closes the door behind her again when she leaves.