Room 238, Thursday early afternoon

[can_be_more]

Aeryn's learned one really important lesson in the last year or so, namely that there is a big difference between random emo and dealing with the fallout of being under a lot of stress. And despite yesterday's talk, she's okay with taking some extra time to do her usual run around the preserve a second time. She'd had a lot of energy she just needed to burn off.

So she's in a better mood when she comes back to the room, though she's not sure how long that will last, if today's anything like yesterday.


[For John.]

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It takes her a moment to readjust a little, so she takes the time to finally move away from the door and take a seat on the couch. "Yesterday you asked what Vader and I had shared," she says. "What did you mean by that?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

He winces. "You're always talking to him, always telling me you're going to talk to him more. He knows things about you, learned from class or otherwise that I don't know."

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"I've actually only spoken to him outside of class twice," she tells him. "Once at the beginning of the semester to tell him I wanted him dead, and this past week."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"I didn't know that," he admits. "My turn to ask a question. "Why'd you feel the need, in the past, to promise me one thing and then break it? Why lie?"

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She frowns and asks, "Wait, when are you talking about? There was never any intentional lying."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"You snuck off to see your mother alone," he says. "You told me you weren't going to see Vader."

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"I can only explain about my mother so many times," she says slowly. "And I only went to see him after I told you I was going to, because I didn't want you to think I was untrustworthy."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"No, I understand why you went," he says quickly. "I understand the reasons. But you don't have to tell me one thing and go behind my back."

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"I wasn't trying to go behind your back!" she says. Wow, she didn't realize this was still such a touchy subject. "I went about my day like normal. I wasn't planning on doing anything, I just..."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Okay!" John says, holding up a hand. "Okay, fine."

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"I didn't intend to do anything," shhe says simply, frowning at the table.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he says, softer now. "I was just curious."

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She's quiet for a moment, calming down. "I wouldn't do that, just so you know," she says. "I try to be as honest as possible so I don't go behind your back on anything."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he says, nodding. "I understand."

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She looks at him and, just wanting confirmation, asks, "You do?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Yes," he says quietly. "I can't feeling in the dark about some things. I know you can't talk about it, that's fine, but I still feel clueless."

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"You can ask," Aeryn tells him. "I can't guarantee that I can answer, but I can maybe answer some questions."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Why were you hesitating with me when you first got back after the thing with your mom?"

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She actually has to think back to what she was like. "Trauma, maybe?" she says, shaking her head. Maybe hearing her story and knowing what happened freaked me out. I don't know."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"You scared me," he says. "I didn't know what was wrong."

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"I don't think I did, either, actually," she says, making a face.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"You got mad when I tried to help."

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"I was angry at a lot of things, I think," she admits. "It was difficult to deal with at the time."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

He nods. "Understandable. Why Vader?"

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She wants to be very sure how to answer this, so she asks, "Why Vader what?"