Room 238, Thursday early afternoon

[can_be_more]

Aeryn's learned one really important lesson in the last year or so, namely that there is a big difference between random emo and dealing with the fallout of being under a lot of stress. And despite yesterday's talk, she's okay with taking some extra time to do her usual run around the preserve a second time. She'd had a lot of energy she just needed to burn off.

So she's in a better mood when she comes back to the room, though she's not sure how long that will last, if today's anything like yesterday.


[For John.]

Comments

[can_be_more]

"What are you thinking?" she asks. Probably a dangerous question today.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

He's still stuck on some of the first things she'd said but he doesn't bring those back up.

"I want you to understand how hard it is to not know things that are happening with the single most important person in your life," he says. "I know you can't tell me. That's okay but you have to know that it's hard. I just want you to know that it's hard."

[can_be_more]

"I know," she says, frowning. "And I truly am sorry. I wouldn't even attempt keeping this from you if I didn't think it was necessary."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

He nods and accepts that. "Okay. I believe that and I believe you. But, I have to ask you to promise me one thing."

[can_be_more]

That's worrisome. "All right."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"If this thing that you can't tell me puts you in danger, then you tell me."

[can_be_more]

She nods. "I can promise that," she says. "And I'm being honest when I say I don't think it will come to that." Might be putting a little too much faith into history, there.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he says in obvious relief. "I hope it doesn't but I don't want you to face something dangerous alone if it does."

[can_be_more]

"I won't," she promises. Really, the dangerous part probably won't involve her, unless something happens that she's not expecting, or if someone pushes too hard. "I'll keep you as informed as I can."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he says and nods again. "Thank you."

[can_be_more]

"Anything else you want to ask?"

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Did your mother hurt you while you were gone?"

[can_be_more]

Aeryn shrugs a little. "There was a fight. We both inflicted some minor damage, I think."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"I meant mentally," he says. "You wouldn't talk much when you came back."

[can_be_more]

This time the shrug is decidedly more uncomfortable. "I heard a lot of things I didn't want to. But I needed to hear them."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"Can you tell me what you heard?"

[can_be_more]

"That the visit I remembered from when I was young never happened, and when I told her I knew better I heard about how Peacekeeper Command knew what she had done and she killed my father rather than me," she says, and she's probably almost too calm about it. "And how she regretted that decision."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

He'd figured as much from the small bits she has told him. "She was wrong."

[can_be_more]

"Maybe so but it's still her opinion to have."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"It is," he agrees. "I don't agree with her though."

[can_be_more]

There's the tiniest flash of a smile, and she says, "There won't be any convincing her of that, though. She comes back for me, if they haven't reassigned her, we go through that all over again."

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"You won't be here for very much longer," he says.

[can_be_more]

"You think I only need to be here for her to find me?" She's really not happy having to say that.

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"No, but she'll have to try harder to find you when we leave."

[can_be_more]

"If she's still assigned to finding me," she says. "The fact that she couldn't bring me back means she probably faced some sort of discipline from her superior officers, and given her past history... I'm not sure what they would have done."